Kaius leaned against the bars, absorbing her words. “Oh, great. You built an army? Really? And how exactly did you manage to contact them from here? Carrier pigeon?
‘I sent letters, but they needed more than just letters to carry on my request, and so I had to make myself known, The attack should have started much earlier, but after you finally let Elowen go, I thought that was part of your master plan all along. I was foolish to wait and see if you would change your mind. Of course, you didn’t.”
This had been exactly what I warned Kaius about earlier; Thalia had made him believe that she was way past everything, but one thing about the elders was their tendency to be very crafty, they know just how to hide their feelings; they had mastered the act for all those centuries they stayed alive.
“So this was all some act of revenge? Kaius asked, his tone thoughtful.
“Yes, it was exactly that. Now I have told you what I know; you will keep to your words this time.”
A cold smile spread across Kaius’s face. “Will 17” He stepped back from the bars. “I keep my words with people I am sure I can trust; I know for a fact that I cannot trust you; the moment I let you out, you will go seeking revenge and I just can’t have that. To you, Thalia, my words mean nothing.”
The rage that flashed across Thalia’s face was so intense it sent a chill down my spine. For a moment, I caught a glimpse of what must have terrified so many over her centuries of life–the primal fury of an immortal being.
“You have made a grave mistake,” she hissed. “My followers will come for me.”
“Your followers?” his voice dripping with false sympathy. “Don’t worry about them. Thlia, they’re history.”
As we turned to leave, Thalia called after us, her voice eerily composed once more. ‘It’s not over, Elowen. Remember what I said about your mother? That wasn’t the only threat I made. Think carefully about what else you value.”
I paused, but Kaius’s hand at the small of my back urged me forward. Don’t listen to her,‘ he murmured. “She’s trying to get into your head.”
When we reached the upper levels of the pack house, Frost excused himself to check on the patrols, leaving Kaius and me alone.
I turned to Kalus, relief and frustration warring within me. “Well, now I can get mad at you for leaving me so worried. Don’t you ever scare me like that again.”
‘I’m sorry, but of course an apology alone wouldn’t do.” He moved closer, his hands finding mine.
I hesitated, the question that had been haunting me since his disappearance finally surfacing. ‘I thought you left because you were mad at me for what I did with… Frost.”
‘Hush. He placed a finger against my lips, but his expression flickered, a subtle waver that told me I’d struck a nerve.
“Why, Kaius?” I continued, pulling back slightly so his finger dropped away. “Why hide the jealousy? It’s true, you don’t seem to mind me being with Frost… generally. But sending me there yourself that night… that sparked it, didn’t it? You felt the jealousy then. And you knew you would, didn’t you? Right from the moment you suggested it.”
Yes. I did know itd come to that, Kaius admitted, his expression unreadable in the dim light filtering into the hallway,
“This isn’t a conversation for the hallway, Elowen.” He took my arm gently but firmly, pulling me back towards our room and shutting the door firmly behind us, enclosing us in the sudden intimacy and privacy of the space. The air crackled with unspoken tension
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Once inside, I turned to face Ifim, my mind still reeling. “The fact that you are okay with this never ceases to surprise me,” I said, unable to keep the bewildered wonder from my voice.
He moved further into the room running a hand through his hair, a gesture of frustration or stress. “Elowen, I am not okay with it,” he corrected, his voice tight. “Not deep down. But I know what you want, and I know you want both of us. How could I force you to choose? It would break you.”
His words struck home with painful accuracy. The truth was, I did want them both, loved them differently but with an intensity that
tore me apart.
“Then that makes me the selfish one, doesn’t it?” I whispered, looking down at my hands, shame washing over me.
“No.” He stopped pacing, turning to face me fully, “I don’t deserve you, Elowen. Frost is the better man.” He paused, his gaze searching mine. “You want to know the real reason I won’t make you choose?”
I looked up, caught by the raw vulnerability suddenly exposed in his eyes. “Why?”
“Because I’m a coward,” he admitted, the words quiet but heavy. “Deep down, I’m terrified. What if you chose him? What if you finally saw that he would never have hurt you the way I did?”
The raw vulnerability in his admission stole the air from my lungs. I reached out instinctively, my fingers brushing his arm. “Oh, Kaius… I’m so sorry,” I whispered, my voice thick with unexpected emotion. “I never knew. I never imagined you felt that kind of fear… that uncertainty.”
I met his intense gaze, trying desperately to convey the tangled truth inside me. “Please don’t ever think… It’s true, my heart feels torn. What happened with Frost… it’s real, and it confuses me more than I can say. But Kaius,” I paused, needing him to understand this above all else, “I had told you once, I love you more, and sometimes I just wish all I felt for Frost would disappear so I could be with the one person my heart chose. But I can’t just ignore my feelings for Frost either. I love him too, Kaius. I feel so selfish wanting both of you, and yet… can’t help myself.”
“I don’t think you are selfish. Tracing back to the genesis, it is all my fault; I practically gave you to him.” He comforted me, his eyes never leaving mine.
“Why did you?” The question had been nagging at me since his revelation.
“Love wasn’t supposed to be part of the deal; remember our little contract; we were supposed to have the best time of our lives, and then I would let you go; it wasn’t supposed to go further than that. It had all been about fun, and then…”
“Love stepped in.” I finished his thought.
We fell into companionable silence for a few minutes, each lost in our own thoughts. Eventually, I turned the conversation to safer ground.
“So you’ve got Thalia locked down in the cell; does that mean the war is… over?”
Kaius’s expression darkened slightly. “The war is never actually over. There are many others waiting for the right time to attack, we have many enemies.”
“Also, Lysandra is still out there somewhere. We will find her,” I said, thinking of the blue–haired commander who had once orchestrated an attack against me.
“No, there wouldn’t any need for that. I know exactly where she will be.” His tone was oddly confident.
I set down my fork, studying him. “You let her go.”
“She had been of help to the pack in times past, couldn’t bring myself to kill her.” There was no remorse in his admission, just a
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Chapter 230
pragmatic acceptance.
