8- Get out!
Jemaya’s POV
I didn’t feel this desperate when I watched Dad gasp for breath on the hospital bed, nor did I run to call the doctors when he started choking on God knows what.
But at this moment, watching Jake about to leave when there’ s so much we can do together makes me feel like I’m about to let a treasure slip through my hands, and God forbid I let that happen.
“I need to go,” he said again the moment I stretched my hand to hold his veiny, muscular arm.
Our gazes were locked in a deeper way that I couldn’t focus on anything other than him.
I gulped when his Adam’s apple bobbed.
I took it as a positive sign when he stayed still after saying he needed to go.
“Just listen to what I have to say… please.” I leaned in, feeling my eagerness start to take control and make me bolder. Our faces were getting closer, and he wasn’t moving back.
I could feel his breath fan my face. Oh God, I want this man.
He wasn’t saying anything, and just when I thought I would seal the deal, I noticed him shift and opened my eyes. His face was still right there.
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“I know that this is wrong of me, but…”
“…Jemaya?!” He suddenly snapped with a raised voice, sitting upright and removing his hand from my hold, making me blush and suddenly self-aware.
My face was red, and all my anticipation that was just at the tip reached a bottleneck.
Why was he holding back now? He wanted this too, right?
We wordlessly stared at each other like it was a contest, until he blinked first, and I took it as my cue to move forward.
“I feel something between us whenever we’re together.” I leaned in, my gaze fixed on his. I felt very shy yet found it hard to look away.
He simply enraptured me with his gaze, made me feel empowered and confident.
“You do?”
He asked softly, a small tease playing at his lips. His tone was soft, yet it sent my stomach doing backflips because of how close we were.
“There’s… tension.” I paused and noticed how the smile stayed there, not frozen but playing at the edge of his lips. “And even though it feels wrong, I want to explore it with you.”
I closed my eyes to say the last part as I didn’t want to look into his eyes to see his reaction to that.
My courage had dissipated, and all that was left was my racing heart.
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8-Get out!
“Oh no…”
288 iVouchers
“What?” My eyes shot open, unable to hide the shock in my voice.
He doesn’t agree?
Not only that, but his tone is low and discouraging.
“I don’t know about the tension that you think exists, but there’s nothing between us.” His tone is final, and watching him shift away from me makes me feel like I’ve been living in a delusion all this while.
Didn’t he see it?
Doesn’t he feel it too? Why did his hand fall to my thigh when I moved away? Why didn’t he move away too?
“Then why do you have a hard-on?” My gaze was fierce. He was saying one thing and doing the other. Or was he going to deny the obvious too?
“Because the body can be really weird.” He straightened up and crossed his legs before continuing. “But I’m not some pervert who goes around preying on his fiancée’s child.”
Oh, I guess he was going to deny that too.
“I’m not a child!” I was fully grown, and anyone who had eyes could see that. My chest heaved up and down as I tried really hard to hold back what was bubbling inside me.
His words made me dangle at the edge of desperation and pride. They were both tearing me apart, and honestly, it was driving me insane.
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at the body wants?”
“How old are you?” he suddenly asked.
“What does it matter? I’m mature enough to know what I want.”
“Answer the question, kid!”
“I’m not, I’ll be 18 in two weeks.” I hated the way he made me stutter.
“You’re still a high schooler. Your brain isn’t even properly developed, and I’m a full-grown 40-year-old man.”
“I can see that…”
“Jemaya, focus.” He placed his hand on my shoulders and gave them a light squeeze.
But how could I just forget how to breathe?
“Look at me. You are vulnerable and don’t know what you want.”
Who was he to tell me that? I wanted to ask, but I stared and glared at him instead. Otherwise, he would take his hands off me. Those big, comforting hands of his.
“So it’ll be wrong of me to take advantage of that. I have my principles.”
I groaned in frustration.
He wasn’t listening.
“But the tension is…” I tried another attempt to convince him
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8-Get out!
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but only ended up flipping a switch.
“Don’t mention that again just because my dick reacted to your body a few times. Need I remind you that you were crying on my shoulders less than 24 hours ago?”
”
“I’m a father figure in your life. I will do anything to make you happy as that-give you money, be your best friend, even your therapist-but I will not go beyond that.”
“Don’t deny it, Jake. You want me but won’t do anything about it because of some damned principles? And now you’re walking away from me?” He turned around sharply just when I was fighting the strong urge to pull him by his hair.
How dare he turn away from me?!
“Watch your language, little girl!”
“Little girl?” I scoffed in a bid to hide the tears that were brewing in my eyes.
“Or what? I’m not a child anymore, and I’ll be legal in two weeks, so I can say whatever the fuck I want.” I screamed and would have sat down to enjoy the shocked expression on his face if I was done.
But I wasn’t done yet.
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“What now? You gonna punish me for saying my mind?” My look was daunting as he stared back at me.
“Jemaya-” He had a softer look on his face.
What was he trying to do? Mess me up?
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No.
1288 Vouchers
He’s done enough.
“Get out!”
“What?” He clearly wasn’t expecting that.
“You were going to leave anyway. Now, I’ve opened the door.”
“…Alright. You’re upset, so I’ll give you space.”
“I don’t need anything from you, and you can shove your therapy away. I’m not fucking crazy just because I want my stepdad! And to hell with your father-figure bullshit. I’m glad my dad died anyway. I don’t need a new selfish drunk in my life.”
“Jem-” He could tell how upset I was, but it was too late for pacification.
My energy and oxygen level were depleting, and he needed to leave before I broke down.
“Out! Now!”
I closed the door with a bang and slid my back down the moment he was out.
How the fuck did we get here?
Was it so wrong to love someone just becauee im not 18 yet?
Silent tears streamed down my face, but I didn’t even know how to process them except to bury my face in my palms and let it all out till I had the strength to move.
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8-Get out!
288 Vouchers
“Ahh fuck, I might be really crazy. Mom is supposed to marry him, yet I basically just threw myself at him like some desperate slut when I’ve not even had my first fucking kiss yet!”
Feeling this slutty, I blamed it on my ovulation.
I needed to wash the sex-craving monster inside me out, I thought as I turned on the water to fill the tub.
“Ouch! Too hot, but I need something to burn hotter than my shame.” Gently, I tipped my big toe in, recoiling for a moment but deciding to be brave enough to go in.
And as soon as I was all in, I realized that it really didn’t burn as much as my shame, so I rested my head on the cubicle and closed my eyes.
“… Falling asleep in here isn’t a bad idea after all.”
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Self destructive judgement
