I’ve faced death twice in my life before this.
So this time, counting from the beginning, ten years flashed before my eyes like a revolving lantern.
Those memories I’d deliberately forgotten and buried came clawing their way to the surface.
Those wounds hidden in peaceful years, the dampness of life, always aching in secret.
Finally, I could no longer keep up the pretense.
I’ve always been a pathetic, cowardly person.
When I was six, my parents separated. Dad always said it was because I was disobedient that I drove Mom away.
So I started being very, very obedient, hoping Mom would come back for me.
When Dad first came to New York, he hit walls everywhere at work. He’d come home with endless anger, finding fault with everything I did.
I got beaten often back then. After hitting me, he’d hold me and cry, telling me how hard his life was, how much he suffered.
Actually, the first time I met Alaric…
I didn’t like him.
Not only did I not like him, I didn’t like anyone in that mansion.
People from head to toe who belonged to a different world than mine–people who looked me up and down with arrogant, disdainful eyes before scoffing.
I was a glaring outsider there.
After being chosen by Alaric, every visit to the Everhart estate made me feel inexplicably suffocated.
But I didn’t dare disobey my father.
So I had to pretend I enjoyed playing with Alaric.
This kid was so strange and temperamental, and he was my father’s boss’s son.
Dad had to please his parents, and I had to please him.
But the Everhart family’s luxurious lifestyle quickly dazzled me. At his house, I could eat cakes and delicacies I’d never afford in my lifetime.
Material desires I’d never had satisfied could be granted effortlessly by them.
Little Alaric was temperamental and domineering, not letting me play with other children–even talking to them too much wasn’t allowed.
But back home, I was the kind of kid who was everyone’s leader, really popular. Being trapped by his side, only allowed to play with him, didn’t feel good.
Alaric was arrogant. He liked smart companions who could understand him, but not ones who were too smart.
Mr. Everhart was particularly satisfied after testing my IQ.
But Alaric stared at my score, obviously higher than his, with a sullen little face.
If he couldn’t solve problems I could solve, he’d be unhappy. If I reacted faster than him, he’d also be unhappy.
Chapter 8
In the Everhart house, Alaric’s happiness came before everything else.
So I had to pretend to be at about his level.
From then on, my nature began to be suppressed, suppressed until now.
Mrs. Everhart used to always say that Alaric needed me, that he couldn’t live without me.
So I was forced to stay by his side. Day after day, year after year.
Like a bird with broken wings, Alaric’s side was a gorgeous cage.
Going everywhere together, I spent more time with him than anyone else. Whatever he did, I had to follow–the “prince’s study companion.”
Were those days happy? I suppose so.
Were those days painful? Yes, they were too.
When I was ten and got shot, ending up in the hospital, Mom heard the news and rushed over from thousands of miles away.
“Ethan Vale! My daughter is a human being! Not the Everhart family’s loyal servant ready to die for them!”
“You can go be their slave yourself–don’t drag my daughter into it! Is this the good job you said you found?”
Then she had the biggest fight ever with Dad.
Turns out they’d only been separated before–now she wanted to divorce Dad and fight for custody of me.
Mom didn’t take Mrs. Everhart’s check, nor did she give her a kind face.
Mrs. Everhart’s expression darkened.
Mom held my hand then and asked if I wanted to go with her.
I missed her so much. I cried and said I’d go home with her.
The next day, Alaric found out about this. His expression was dark as he said he wouldn’t let me go.
I was so angry with him for desperately trying to keep me from leaving.
But just when I had packed my little bundle, custody was awarded to my father.
Dad had a higher income and professional lawyers from Everhart Corporation. Mom couldn’t compete.
Little Alaric was somewhat smug, throwing my bundle back.
“Listen, Selene, I won’t let you go, and you can’t leave.”
First attempt to leave: failed,
When I was thirteen, in eighth grade, Mom had built up her career. This time she came fully prepared.
She could take me away under the pretense of taking me abroad for advanced studies, with her as the accompanying guardian.
That attempt went surprisingly smoothly–Dad and the Everhart family couldn’t stop Mom and me.
Alaric had good social skills by then and could function well socially. I thought he didn’t need me anymore.
I was in a good mood as I said goodbye to him.
I said I’d send him postcards and local specialties from there.
Chapter 8
Alaric had just returned from an evening banquet. Hearing this, his face darkened as he pulled off his tie and threw his jacket to the servants.
He walked right past me without a word.
A servant who’d worked in their house for decades couldn’t bear to watch and advised me:
“Miss Selene, why do this? The Everhart family is raising you as a child bride.
If you stay, you could become the young mistress. Why go with your mother?”
I was already thirteen, but I still didn’t understand why I had to marry Alaric.
I didn’t want to spend my whole life with him.
I’d already spent five years in his house.
I fantasized about living with Mom in a foreign country.
I sat by the door waiting for her to come get me.
Instead, I got news that she’d been in a car accident on the way.
The other driver was drunk and suddenly swerved into her lane. Mom didn’t die on the spot, but she became a vegetable.
The perpetrator was in his fifties or sixties, alone in the world, and had cancer. He was released on medical parole and died within half a year.
But my mother was in her prime, at the peak of her career.
She hadn’t remarried all these years, had no other children–she only had me.
She was supposed to come get me and take me home today.
But on the way to get me, she fell into a coma she’d never wake up from.
Outside the emergency room, I was cold all over. Alaric was the first to arrive. He walked over quickly and wrapped his coat around me.
The young man held me, his warm voice inexplicably cold:
“You see, Selene, you can only depend on me.”
His embrace was clearly warm, but I shivered with cold in his arms.
Second attempt to leave: failed.
